from: http://www.diamondsintheruff.com/
Ruff House News

Q of the week:
"Preparing for Baby"

I have two adopted dogs, and am having a baby soon.
They are great dogs, but have been my "babies" up until now.
What can I do to prepare them (and me!) for the new arrival???


HERE ARE YOUR ANSWERS!!

FIRST IN - CATHYYYYYYYYYY!!

First off, congratulations on your soon to be arriving new family member. And my hat is off to you for being PROactive instead of REactive.

Although preparation for this event is not hard, it is, in my opinion, imperative to ensure the most success possible. You did not indicate how long you have before the new arrival, so we'd better get busy right now.

The first thing that I would do with your 2 dogs, depending on their ages, temperaments, and to some extent, breeds, is to establish a clean leadership role in their lives. You must become that entity from which all resources come from. This must include attention, food, playtime, treats, toys, walks, rides in the car, etc. You get the picture. The dogs will soon realize just how incredibly important you are to their world. You provide all the good things, including their safety and companionship. Sounds a lot like parenthood, hu? Basically, that's what it is.

Next I would introduce the dogs to lots and lots of small children and especially babies. This really needs to be done very slowly as the last thing on earth you want to happen is to sensitize them to babies. Don't cram the introductions down their throats, so to speak. Babies and children make noises that are foreign to dogs, and may scare them. At first, distance from these small people creatures is your friend. The dogs must feel safe at all times. They need to feel confident that you, their leader, would never put them in a situation of danger. You most probably will need to have some help, especially since you are dealing with 2 dogs, not 1. I would slowly work toward getting closer and closer to babies and kids over a period of days and weeks.

Babies in a household also have a smell. Make sure that you bring baby lotion and powder into your home WAYYYY before baby comes. Use the lotion on yourself and your husband so that the smell of baby is there already. Babies also come with lots of gadgets both big and small -- diapers, towels, rattles, crib, etc. Bring those in before baby comes also. Let the dogs investigate the stuff. All that stuff should become old hat to the dogs. It's just there. No big deal.

As I said, none of this is very hard, but it does take considerable effort, which, after baby's arrival, you will be thankful you invested the time in.

When baby finally does come, let them investigate the baby. This needs to be done very safely. You should be MICRO managing not only the introductions, but also every interaction the dogs have with the baby. This is just common sense.

The goal is that in the dogs eyes, baby is part of the family, not an intruder that takes mom's (and dad's) attention away from them. They must believe that mom would never bring anything into the home that wasn't "okay". Cathy

AND KIM!

Howdy! Okay, here goes..... I think the key in adding a new family member is well established, good leadership. The dogs have been her babies until now, but have they been babied? Is there a good balance of leadership in the house hold? Have the dogs ever been around kids/toddlers/babies? What was their reaction?

If they have never been around babies, find friends/family with babies and classically condition the dogs to the sounds and sight. Be prepaired to redirect if needed.

Above all, remain calm/happy/matter of fact about the baby around the dogs. The more you fuss and worry, the more the dogs are gonna worry and possibly associate the baby with "bad" things/feelings.

Before baby comes, start getting the baby's room ready. Get some baby toys that make sounds and play iwth them. Get the dogs used to the sounds. Have baby powder, wipes, baby oil. Use them on your self and have the dogs get used to the smells. Use a baby gate on the door to keep the dogs out of the room unless you are with them. Be sure to invite the dogs into the room. Do all of this before baby arrives. That way the only "new" thing is baby.

Be sure to also establish a routine with the dogs that you can keep after baby arrives that gives the dogs some one on one time with you. For example, if you and your husband walk the dogs together, one of you should start staying home while the other one walks the dogs. Then trade off. This way, when baby arrives, the dogs are used to going with just one person at a time and the other person can stay home with baby if needed. Also, sometimes walk the dogs wiht the stroller. Then when you all walk as a family the stroller will not frighten the dogs.

Basically, do what you think you will be doing with the baby and start doing it now. If routines are somewhat in place, then the arrival of baby will not be as "tramatic". Kim

PS: Okay, Carol, quit laughing......I know this may not be practical for a new mom....I know it is a crazy time........someday I may know myself for sure. I know the first thing that goes out the window wiht babies is routine.... *G*

GREAT JOB, KIM! I love how she imagines herself in the situation and addresses it from the parental point of view. Very good technique when talking to owners.


The Answers?

This is an excellent article by Dr. Karen Overall, PhD

and - Marty Becker's answer in the Sept 21 Sunday paper!

..Prepare your pet for the arrival of a human baby
THE BOND Pre-delivery familiarization with the sounds, smells and sights of an infant can assist a dog's bonding instinct, Dr. Marty Becker says.

Dr. Marty Becker
Knight Ridder

When Bridgit LaCombe of Albuquerque, N.M., attended a birthing class in preparation for her first child, the topic of preparing the family pet for the arrival of a baby arose.

This was of particular interest to LaCombe, as she was concerned about her first baby, a mixed-breed dog named Lizzy, adjusting to the arrival of her real baby.

"With your first child, you never really know," said LaCombe. "I was afraid that Lizzy would harm the baby out of jealousy, because Lizzy was always my first baby.

"My ultimate fear was that Lizzy would have to go to another home."

For moms and dads, bringing a new baby home from the hospital is a glorious and blessed event. All attention is on baby, as the home is filled with new and unique smells, sounds, toys, products and, most importantly, the little one herself.

But for many new parents of human babies, there often exists a beloved family member whose needs can get overlooked in all of the excitement surrounding the baby's arrival -- the family pet. This family member also needs to be prepared for the new baby since it will be a time of changes for it, as well.

Besides, since our pets have lovingly and patiently prepared us to be parents, don't they deserve to be patiently and lovingly prepared to accept a new family member? "Every day, animal shelters take in dogs and cats who lost their homes because they weren't easily adjusting to the new baby. Or, worse, because their owners thought they wouldn't adjust," says Stephanie Shain, The Humane Society of the United States' director of outreach for companion animal issues.

A family pet that is unprepared for the arrival of a new baby can react negatively to this strange and unfamiliar intruder into his home. In some cases, parents may fear, warranted or not, for the safety of their baby, as it relates to her interactions with the family pet.

"Dog owners can get some idea of how their pet will likely respond to the new baby's arrival by considering its personality," says Dr. Nicholas Dodman, a veterinary behaviorist at Tufts University and author of "If Only They Could Speak" (Norton 2003).

"More pushy, dominant dogs sometimes get their noses bent out of shape by the competition for attention that necessarily follows the newcomer's arrival. Fearful dogs may need to be coaxed to accept the screaming bundle, whereas dogs with high prey drive have to be watched carefully for the first few days until they clearly identify the new arrival as family.

"The good news is that dogs' natural instincts are to protect a new pack member -- and that's what the new baby will represent to them."

How can we help our beloved first "children" feel at ease with the new arrival? The first step should be to brush up in their obedience training, even taking a class if needed.

Next, before the baby arrives, parents-to-be need to accustom their pets to the sights, smells and sounds of a new baby.

Crying, babbling, cooing, giggling, and yes, even, the occasional screaming baby are all sounds that your pet will need to be comfortable hearing if he or she is going to be accepting of the family's latest addition.

Until now, familiarizing your pet to baby sounds created quite a challenge, requiring taking him or her to a nursery or to visit a friend with a baby. But thanks to two mommies in Albuquerque, this task just got easier.

Lisa Ruggles and Shawn Hrncir created "Preparing Fido," a CD filled with the baby sounds that your pet is most likely to hear when you bring baby home. The CD contains recordings of baby crying, babbling, cooing, giggling and screaming, even a 13-minute "variety" track that contains a compilation of the various baby sounds.

After purchasing "Preparing Fido," LaCombe played it for her dog, Lizzy.

"The first time she heard the baby sounds, Lizzy's ears went straight up and she ran directly to the stereo, barked, and put her paws on the speakers as she tried desperately to find the little creature making these noises," LaCombe explained. "But after listening to the CD for several weeks, Lizzy became calm and accepting of the sounds."

Included with the "Preparing Fido" CD is an instructional booklet that contains important tips and recommendations from The Humane Society of the United States about lovingly preparing your pet for the arrival of a baby.

This highly recommended CD is available for $16.99 plus $4.00 shipping and handling and can be purchased online at www.preparingfido.com.

Additionally, long before your due date, begin to fill the house with the sights and smells associated with a baby by stocking the baby's room with diapers, lotions, powders etc. Some animal behaviorists and veterinarians have suggested putting lotion and a diaper on a doll, carrying it around the house and talking to it in that "special voice" once reserved only for your pet.

Many obstetricians suggest bringing the baby's first receiving blanket home while Mom and baby are still in the hospital. Let your pet sniff the blanket while you pet and stroke him, helping him to associate the smells with a positive experience.

Once home, get in the habit of never leaving the pet and baby alone together in the same room. If you need to leave a baby alone, such as while it is sleeping, call the dog out of the room when you leave and block re-entry.

This way all interactions between baby and pet are supervised.

A success story: LaCombe reports that Lizzy and her daughter, Alexandra, are now the best of friends.

•Dr. Marty Becker of Bonners Ferry, Idaho, is the co-author of the new book "Chicken Soup For The Horse Lover's Soul" and a popular veterinary contributor for ABC TV's "Good Morning America." Write to him in care of Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service, 790 National Press Building, Washington, DC 20045.


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